So let’s start with an update from my last post:
As
we enter our 3rd week of summer break, this is where I am on my
summer to do list:
1. Learn to make an Asian dish – DONE (I learned
to make Vietnamese summer rolls!
2. Get back to my blog – DONE (See, you’re reading it! Again!)
3. Buy an iPad – DONE and hubby jealous (bonus points!!!)
4. De-Clutter my life – My bathroom, fridge and freezer
created 5 bags of carbon footprint and I’m still waiting for a packing party
(Bueller? Bueller?)
5. Go to Boston – Still on hold until I can figure out when
and where I will be moving (I <3 mortgage companies!)
6. Read 3 books – Purchased “50 Shades of Grey”
for my new iPad (complete trash but I promise to read something less trashy
afterwards, maybe a horror/thriller)
I have lots on my mind but I will focus on one thing
today. I don’t really talk about this
much to anyone and it’s really hard for me to get this out but, I’m tired of
being fat. So hard to say out loud! I
worry all the time about my health and what would happen to them if my children
lost me. Lord knows daddy would only
feed them microwave popcorn, Chinese takeout and Happy Meals and no one would
ever do homework, get to school on time, match their clothes, read a book… and
don’t even let me get started on their hair! You see where I’m going. In order for me to get this out, I need to
make several out loud confessions/excuses:
1. I like food! I’m not one who
eats when I’m upset. Just the opposite. I find it hard to cry and chew at the
same time. Besides, I suffer from
achalasia and swallowing is hard enough for me.
I don’t need to try to chew, swallow and cry at the same time. My problem is I like comfort food and many
times the only time I get to see my friends is over a meal.
2.
I
don’t hate to exercise; I hate to exercise alone. Yes, my children are great but those who know
me know I get very little time without them and live more like a single parent with
little outside support, than a married parent.
So while I try taking them on walks or doing some Wii
dancing/exercising, I usually end up a referee over fights for my attention or
which song to pick and end up more annoyed than relaxed. I have little free
time before 9 pm because again, I have very little time alone. By 9pm, I’m ready to curl up in a corner and
hide or I’m working on school/Girl Scout stuff.
3.
My
breasts are just too damn big! I look at these women running, all happy in
their little bra tops and think, “Damn, I would have two black eyes by now!”
Stick two cans of yams in a bra and try running. That’s me. I love when people tell me to get a sports
bra. No sports bra is strong enough to
hold down D-cup canned yams; I don’t care if NASA makes the damn Lycra! And PS,
I am not running by myself in this neighborhood!
4. I am not sweating my wig out! It’s hard enough to catch up with my cousin
to get my hair braided. Do you know what
this head smells like after it’s been sweating? When you can smell you own head
under your wig, it ain’t pretty.
So
why am I saying all this? Because I want
help. I don’t want to be fat, but I want
to be able to exercise and eat better without people looking at me and
scrutinizing every damn thing I do. I
can’t stand when women get the Exercising Holy Ghost and all they can talk
about is counting carbs and reps and ordering everything on the side. Poor
things have completely lost the ability to hold a normal conversation without
counting how many calories were burned while they were moving their jaws up and
down. I look at them and want to slap them with a cheeseburger, or open a can
of cheesecake on their asses! There has to be a place between being fat and
being obsessed with being fat. I seem to
know too many people on either end of the spectrum and none in the middle. I want exercise and healthy eating to be habit
changes, not a new religion.
I’m
not sure where to end this but I felt the need to say it so I’m saying it out
loud.
Final thoughts:
“Stressed spelled backwards is desserts. Coincidence? I think
not!” – Author unknown
