Greetings from Fatgirlshateskinnygirls-ville

So let’s start with an update from my last post:

As we enter our 3^rd week of summer break, this is where I am on my summer to do list:

1.  Learn to make an Asian dish – DONE (I learned to make Vietnamese summer rolls!

2. Get back to my blog – DONE (See, you’re reading it! Again!)

3. Buy an iPad – DONE and hubby jealous (bonus points!!!)

4. De-Clutter my life – My bathroom, fridge and freezer created 5 bags of carbon footprint and I’m still waiting for a packing party (Bueller? Bueller?)

5. Go to Boston – Still on hold until I can figure out when and where I will be moving (I <3 mortgage companies!)

6. Read 3 books – Purchased “50 Shades of Grey” for my new iPad (complete trash but I promise to read something less trashy afterwards, maybe a horror/thriller)

I have lots on my mind but I will focus on one thing today.  I don’t really talk about this much to anyone and it’s really hard for me to get this out but, I’m tired of being fat.  So hard to say out loud! I worry all the time about my health and what would happen to them if my children lost me.  Lord knows daddy would only feed them microwave popcorn, Chinese takeout and Happy Meals and no one would ever do homework, get to school on time, match their clothes, read a book… and don’t even let me get started on their hair! You see where I’m going.  In order for me to get this out, I need to make several out loud confessions/excuses:

1.       I like food! I’m not one who eats when I’m upset. Just the opposite. I find it hard to cry and chew at the same time.  Besides, I suffer from achalasia and swallowing is hard enough for me.  I don’t need to try to chew, swallow and cry at the same time.  My problem is I like comfort food and many times the only time I get to see my friends is over a meal.

2.       I don’t hate to exercise; I hate to exercise alone.  Yes, my children are great but those who know me know I get very little time without them and live more like a single parent with little outside support, than a married parent.  So while I try taking them on walks or doing some Wii dancing/exercising, I usually end up a referee over fights for my attention or which song to pick and end up more annoyed than relaxed. I have little free time before 9 pm because again, I have very little time alone.  By 9pm, I’m ready to curl up in a corner and hide or I’m working on school/Girl Scout stuff.

3.       My breasts are just too damn big! I look at these women running, all happy in their little bra tops and think, “Damn, I would have two black eyes by now!” Stick two cans of yams in a bra and try running. That’s me.  I love when people tell me to get a sports bra.  No sports bra is strong enough to hold down D-cup canned yams; I don’t care if NASA makes the damn Lycra! And PS, I am not running by myself in this neighborhood!

4.       I am not sweating my wig out!  It’s hard enough to catch up with my cousin to get my hair braided.  Do you know what this head smells like after it’s been sweating? When you can smell you own head under your wig, it ain’t pretty.

So why am I saying all this?  Because I want help.  I don’t want to be fat, but I want to be able to exercise and eat better without people looking at me and scrutinizing every damn thing I do.  I can’t stand when women get the Exercising Holy Ghost and all they can talk about is counting carbs and reps and ordering everything on the side. Poor things have completely lost the ability to hold a normal conversation without counting how many calories were burned while they were moving their jaws up and down. I look at them and want to slap them with a cheeseburger, or open a can of cheesecake on their asses! There has to be a place between being fat and being obsessed with being fat.  I seem to know too many people on either end of the spectrum and none in the middle.  I want exercise and healthy eating to be habit changes, not a new religion.

I’m not sure where to end this but I felt the need to say it so I’m saying it out loud.

Final thoughts:

“Stressed spelled backwards is desserts. Coincidence? I think not!” – Author unknown